RICHARD VARGAS

THE OLD MAN LIVES ALONE
_{(after Jim Morrison’s To Be Alone)}

being alone in my 20s and 30s
is a lot different from my 60s and 70s
this morning i woke up
as the nocturnal fog wrapped around
my head started to fade and lift
while i fondly recall with my eyes
still closed and a yearning smile
the times when i’d be greeted by
my best friend and confidant
standing at attention and ready
to take on whatever came our way
a reliable sidekick if there ever was one
until he got tired of the gig and
wandered off years ago

and even though he’s on his own
he stills pays me a visit from time to time
so we can reminisce about the good times we had
and the few close calls we managed to dodge
sadly, the lil’ guy has been replaced
by the new ache or pain of the week
who shows up like clockwork
an unannounced squatter boldly
moving in to declare
their new residence

eventually i get up
groaning and limping off to the bathroom
with the grace of Frankenstein’s monster
where i sit on the toilet hoping something happens
sometimes it does
sometimes it doesn’t
i brush my teeth
shave and shower
take my morning meds
return to the bedroom
picking up my clothes from the floor
holding my t-shirt to my nose
hope it passes the sniff test

breakfast is lots of coffee
these days i eat whatever the fuck i want
marked-down two-day-old german
chocolate cake from walmart
or half a box of girl scout cookies
doctor’s advice be damned
if i’m lucky a new poem shows up
flirts with me, teases me, dances across the lap-
top as i stroke the keys fast and hard
hoping to transform the moment into a word doc
where we can return as often as needed
until our choreography is so flawless
it would give Bob Fosse a hard-on

i thank the gods and embrace
my current state of existence
even if the light at the end of the tunnel
is a tad brighter than
it was a few days ago
try not to think about the empty
half of my bed and the cold night
that awaits

because while being alone ain’t so bad
being lonely will probably
kill me

Richard Vargas earned his B.A. at Cal State University, Long Beach, where he studied under Gerald Locklin. He edited/published five issues of The Tequila Review, 1978-1980, and twelve issues of The Mas Tequila Review from 2010-2015. Vargas received his MFA in Creative Writing from the University of New Mexico, 2010, where he workshopped his poems with Joy Harjo. His sixth book, The Screw City Poems, was released in July 2025, Roadside Press. He now resides in Albuquerque, NM. https://www.richardvargaspoet.com/