Bill Ratner

HOUSE IN L.A.

After the fires nearly burned my city to the ground
I began to love my cupboard, every cubic inch stuffed with
Styrofoam cups of noodles; I sometimes wonder how fast they dry out.
I began to love my old, scuffed stairs that lead up to the second floor.
I began to love my bedroom windows that have never seen
a window cleaner with their harness and ladder and magic cloths.
I began to love my closet—I save wire hangers now and give them back
to the nice Greek lady at the cleaners down the hill.
I began to love my TV—a big, shiny, black placemat bolted
to the family room wall, blank, empty, a little red light glowing
so you know it’s thinking about what to show next.
I began to love the air and its numbers—59—a dull, daisy yellow;
you can breathe, but don’t go play soccer. I began to love my view;
I can see the red and white antenna tower where I worked
when I first came to town, especially at night when it blinks,
so helicopters don’t crash into it. I’ve even come to love the freeway,
its tire dust and car sounds. I close my eyes, and it’s my ocean.

POSSESSIONS

In my basement is the auxiliary door
to my Whirlpool stove.
I don’t know where to recycle it.
Maybe it could be melted down,
made into a stove door brick—
they’d scrape off the Styrofoam packing,
those infernal tiny white balls of waste
that litter my driveway, the street, the city.

In my bedroom is a new neck pillow
filled with grey goose down.
I bought a cream yellow pillow case
perhaps designed for people with small heads.

In my closet is my new pair of deck shoes,
or maybe they are Sean Penn cool guy shoes,
god I hope so. I don’t want to look like a tourist
with thick legs, Bermuda shorts, and sneakers
that resemble a carnival midway.

In my bureau drawer is a set
of directions for meditation:
Concentrate on your breath,
it is connected to the heavens.
Each breath is in itself curious,
as different from the previous
as a snowflake.

Bill Ratner is author of the poetry collection Fear of Fish (Alien Buddha Press 2021,) poetry chapbook To Decorate a Casket (Finishing Line Press 2021,) Parenting For The Digital Age: The Truth Behind Media’s Effect On Children And What To Do About It (Familius Books 2014,) and a Best of the Net Poetry Nominee 2023 (Lascaux Review.) His writing appears in Best Small Fictions 2021 (Sonder Press,) Missouri Review (audio,) anthology Sh!t Men Say to Me (Moon Tide Press,) Baltimore Review, Chiron Review, Feminine Collective, and other journals. He works as a voice actor, is a 9-time winner of the Moth StorySLAM, an officer in his union SAG-AFTRA, a trained grief counsellor, and teaches Voiceovers for SAG-AFTRA Foundation and Media Awareness for Los Angeles Unified School District.• billratner.com/author • @billratner